the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
