we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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