the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
