i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
