Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
