Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
