The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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