i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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