Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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