They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
