Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
