Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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