i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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