so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
