Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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