Yo dont text me then not text me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
