I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize