i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
