Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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