How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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