Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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