I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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