The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
