Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My dick has a subreddit
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
