I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
