Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i drank out of a bidet.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
