I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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