ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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