Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
