Do you still have your period?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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