We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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