yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
