I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
