Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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