just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
