he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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