There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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