It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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