so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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