Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
