My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
