So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
