piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
