Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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