remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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