She said her name was "party"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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