before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
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Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i now understand why vodka
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize