now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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