Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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