Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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