We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
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found the other keg... it's in the tree
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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