You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is it penis luge time yet?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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