:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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