she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
