Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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