Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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