Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize