I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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