Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
