Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
